Paul's Ponderings - December 6,2007

It’s good to be back from being under the weather. I’m fortunate that I don’t get sick too often, but when I pick up cold or whatever bug I contracted last week, it’s usually a doozie. I’m not back to 100 percent yet, but I’m getting closer.

Last week, I finally got a new cell phone. I loved my old cell phone, even though it was getting enough age on it to qualify as an antique, and it had all the features that I desire – it would make and receive calls, someone could leave you a message, and it had place to store numbers. But, it was getting so old the numbers had worn off the buttons, the battery wouldn’t stay charged, and sometimes – actually most of the time - the reception wasn’t the best.

So, I now possess a brand new, state of the art cell phone. It’s one of these skinny flip-top jobs with all types of features that I neither understand or need. It’ll take pictures, send and receive text messages, is capable of connecting to the Internet, playing music, and who knows what else if all the features were activated. It even says it will respond  to voice commands such as telling it to “call so-and-so.”

I’ve never been anywhere near what I’d call proficient when it comes to fancy gadgets such as cell phones, video games, music players or whatever you call them, or even computers for that matter. And, the truth be told, I don’t really want to learn all that much. I’m still kind of old fashioned, especially when it comes to communications. If at all possible, I prefer to talk to someone in person – face to face. If that’s not possible, then the telephone is okay. I  don’t think much of e-mailing back and forth, although I can do the real simple stuff, and I don’t have the slightest idea how to text message someone.

So, back to my new cell phone and all it’s features. So far, I’m not making much progress with it. I can answer it if someone calls – all I have to do is open it and start talking. I can also call someone, if I remember which button to press to send the call. (My old one was simple – you entered the number, pressed send, and you were connected. To end the call,  you pressed End!)

The new phone has these little bitty thin buttons along the outside edges that I’m always hitting accidentally. Someone  will call me, I’ll flip the phone open to talk, hit some button and I’m on speakerphone. Or, I’ll open it up, and the camera will be on and I’ll take a picture of my foot or some unknown object.

Even worse is the button (or buttons) on the side that regulate the ring volume, and whether or not your phone rings, is silent, vibrates, etc. This feature just about got me in trouble earlier this week while I was covering a court case in Liberty. Signs everywhere tell you to turn your phone off before entering the courtroom. However, this presented a problem – I didn’t know how to turn my phone completely off. No one  told me, and I guess I didn’t read for enough into the instruction manual (or the manual could have been in Spanish and I couldn’t read it). But, I thought that I’d figured out how to put my ringer on silent so that it wouldn’t ring, so this is what I did before going into court. I then stuck the phone in my shirt pocket, thinking everything was okay. But, apparently I hit one of those tiny buttons as I was putting the phone in my pocket, and much to my amazement – and dismay – my phone starts ringing in the courtroom. I yank it out and try to make it shut up, but it keeps on ringing, and court security is headed my way from about three or four directions. Finally, a man sitting in front of me comes to my rescue and tells me how to turn it off before I get evicted. Thank you, kind stranger.

Hopefully, my phone and I will eventually reach a little better understanding, and I won’t screw up as much as I have been. But, I wouldn’t count on it. So if you were to call me on my cell phone and I hang up, I probably didn’t mean it. Or, if your phone rings and all you hear is background noise, I’ve hit a  button and didn’t know it.

My older sister (emphasis on older) celebrated a birthday this week, and she threatened me with bodily harm if I put some nasty grade school picture of her in funny glasses or wrote some nasty little ditty and put it in the paper. So, out of fear, I didn’t do it. I’ll just say, Happy Birthday, Cathy, now you don’t have another milestone birthday to look forward to until you turn 70.